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20th December 2016
12:10am GMT
So both Trinity and UCD have had their say about which university they think is the best. However, while they were at each other's throats, we were tucked away nicely in Glasnevin comforted by the fact that we are, in fact, the superior college. We don't need a fanfare and we're not gonna scream it from the rooftops. We think less is more, like seriously - who needs 50 reasons, when 21 will suffice? Read on to discover just why Dublin City University comes in at number 1 as Dublin's finest college.
Spar Man is a beloved character by both staff and students of DCU. He has been working in the store since day one, yet no one has seen him beyond the checkout counter. The most hilarious puns, quickest one-liners and cheeriest grins, fail to break this man's cool exterior. Regardless of this, he has warmed the hearts of the entire student body. We salute you Spar Man!
The lad in front of me in the queue in Spar in DCU made the Indian guy laugh...I feel like he may know the meaning of life! #TeachMe
— Oisin Taylor (@OTaylor94) October 4, 2013
DCU is home to the country's athletes of the future, and leading course in sports science. The gym is where these people meet with the rest of us mere mortals. There is no greater motivation to get in shape than a hall full of people who have achieved your goals, way before you. No, really.
While the purpose of university societies is to cater for the interests of the student body, this is certainly one of the more specific ones. Members of the Harry Potter Society gather to appreciate the films and books, even taking part in the Quidditch Intervarsities (of which they are two time winners). Societies, and in specific, the Uaneen module allow you to get course credits for society, sport and extracurricular activities meaning that more value is put on these activities.
The Helix plays host to some of Ireland's trashiest TV. One of the many shows filmed here is The Voice. As though it were some kind of divine intervention, filming of The Voice coincides with assignment season, allowing easily distracted students to revel in the b-list glamour of the show. Who needs an afternoon of study when you can go creeping on Bressie?
The trick to a good pint and a 99 are much the same, it's all in how it's pulled. No one is more aware of this than the gentlemen in Spar, who pride themselves on their 99s. They have developed a simple technique that infuses the sauce into the ice cream, revealing a nugget of sweet caramel goodness in the centre. Although this may seem quite simple, their dedication, acute attention to detail and showmanship while creating this dairy masterpiece ensures queues out the door all summer long.
Sure TCD and UCD have been home to icons of Irish culture such as Joyce and Beckett, but DCU has Lovin Dublin's very own Jamie Heaslip and Fr. Dougal Maguire. I think we all know who the real winners are here...
Frog legs are to the France what goujons and chips are to DCU. An indulgence of deep-fried-salty goodness, this is a staple meal for students of the college. It is a reliable cure for hangovers, heartbreaks, assignments and repeats. Plus the fact that you get them from NuBar means you can always grab a drink if for some strange reason they don't ease the pain.
It is undeniable that no one provides a ball quite like Trinity and UCD. That's their thing and they're good at it. DCU, however, more so focuses on providing students with weekly entertainment to help relax from the pressures of college life. Shite Night is the perfect example of this. An indulgence in cheesy-poptastic tunes, NuBar has been hosting Shite Night for the last year, and it has been a constant hit with students. Going directly from rendering malfunctions in the Mac Labs to sashaying across the dancefloor of NuBar to "I'm Every Woman" is all the validation a person needs in their choice of college.
A controversial talking point for three years in the university, DCU's Labyrinth was rumoured to be costing upwards of €60,000. The student body, shocked and appalled at such a figure, signed petitions and held protests against the construction of the Labyrinth. There was an air of confusion all around when imaginings of skyscraping hedges were shattered at the big reveal….
"Mondays with Mickey" isn't the title of a mid-morning chat show, but the name of Mickey Jo Harte's weekly acoustic set in NuBar. Having spent a year playing his greatest hit "We've Got The World Tonight"; Mickey has become a favourite amongst the student body.
DCU is a third-level institute, but it is not exempt from making a spelling mistake… or two. This, however, is just a friendly reminder to students that mistakes are okay, even from a third-level institute…. Right?
New sign, new typo at @DublinCityUni pic.twitter.com/p65M6SrNYa
— TriploidTree (@TriploidTree) February 4, 2015
It is the unfortunate nature of arts degrees to be incredibly poorly timetabled. Fear not! With the Omni on the doorstep, you can catch a movie with your friends, or find that perfect outfit for the ball, to pass the time.
DCU is renowned for its state of the art equipment to help support students from the School of Communications. Resources that students in other colleges could only dream of. This equipment can be seen reaching its full potential, in repeated refreshing of Facebook upon approach to deadlines.
Well known for it's accessibility and welcoming to students from all walks of life, DCU is a melting pot of Irish society. As well as bringing together people of diverse opinion and talents, it means you'll never be too far away from a familiar accent.
The composition of the student body represents every county on the island of Ireland and over seventy countries worldwide, spread across all six continents. The University has educated students from Australia to Brazil and Japan to Iceland. International students currently make up just over 15% of the full-time student body
As lazy summer days start to approach, nothing offers an escape quite like the lush greens of Albert College Park. It's playground offers hours of entertainment for overgrown children, and its secluded alcoves provide a retreat for tired souls, and their cans.
On the rare day that goujons and chips just aren't appealing, one can always escape to the culinary delights of Anderson's Café. Located two minute away from the university campus, on The Rise, it is thankfully convenient. Their delicious menu, and impressively stocked deli, can revive even the weariest of taste buds.
The canteen staff of DCU fills the hole left by many a rurally located mammy. The combination of dishing up food and tough loving seems to slot into the crippled psyche of the Irish male quite well - jusk one of our psychology students about Oedipus Rex. Beyond dishing up the food that gets us from first year to final, the canteen staff is also a source of solace and advice. They can make us laugh on the greyest of days, and can give us some much needed tough loving when we are feeling a little too sorry for ourselves.
The library is a great piece of architecture by Scott, Tallon and Walker. However every DCU student enjoys the odd giggle about the roof of the building, and what body parts it resembles.
So much more than your average panto, this takes the basic pantomime structure and flips it on its head with hilarious consequences. Not necessarily suitable for kids, but always a good laugh.
The fact that it's such a small campus you feel like you can get to know everyone during your time there. The university has around 6,000 undergraduate students, over 600 research postgraduates, 1,800 taught postgraduate students and over 50,000 alumni. So there's none of that getting lost in a sea of students shite that happens so frequently at other universities.
