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8th January 2025
12:59pm GMT
Dublin in a cold snap is a wibbly-wobbly wonderland, but the Walk to Work is a performance art piece on collective humiliation. We all have the Man-Who-Fell-On-The-Ice from that RTE broadcast burned into our retinas. The fear that it could happen to us is so deeply rooted it goes hand in hand with the leaving cert nightmares that never go away.
As the well-trodden streets morph into booby traps, we're all whipping out our best Bambi impressions and playing "Please don't take me down" with the path.
Salt? Never heard of her. Obviously we all know our government treats cold snap prep like it's someone else's job. To help keep yourself safe and sexy we have compiled a list of Dublin's Slippiest streets so you can be forewarned-forearmed if you're required to be in the office 3 days a week.
Enter at your own peril.
Ah, the only bridge in the world that's wider than it is long. It's also the only bridge in the world that is so busy you can't see your own feet, let alone keep an eye on the slick of black ice coming for ya. Nothing makes a slip hazard more hazardous than being rushed, and O'Connell Bridge crossers are nothing if not in a hurry. Hence it landed on the slipperiest list even though it's a choad. Flat as a pancake but treacherous as a reality TV villain.
Every wobble and slip here is judged by a live audience of tourists, pigeons, and at least three rubberneckers. Bonus points for the existential terror of falling too close to the Liffey and wondering if it'll be hypothermia or shame that gets you first.
Essex Street's cobblestones are always plotting something. They're harmless enough in July, but come winter? They're auditioning for the role of "blue shells" in the next Mario film. This street is the Rainbow Road of Temple Bar. The slight gradient guarantees you'll make it down… just maybe not on your feet.
Pro tip: stick close to the wall and pray to St Jude. Warning signs? Not on this island.
Where this is my regular route meets mortal peril. The uneven brick pavement turns into a black ice wonderland. The streets are too thin, the cars are unpredictable and seem to come from nowhere. People are never crossing at the designated pedestrian crossroads. This is a street between places, and bam, smack in the middle of everywhere. So it attracts the rushing, hustling, bustling crowds who do not care if your shoes have no grip (rookie mistake, no sympathy).
Sprinkle in the odd tourist popping out of Barleys, and you've got yizzerselves a Hunger Games twist. If you're going to wipe out, aim for the bit outside Caribou; at least you'll have the soft glow of fairy lights to illuminate your downfall. Salt is scattered here sometimes, but it's more decorative than functional—like putting a plaster on a sinking ship.
Here, dreams go to die on a frosty incline. The hill down to the canal becomes the city's unofficial luge track, with cyclists flinging themselves into oblivion and pedestrians clutching lampposts like Titanic extras. If you're not wearing boots with the grip of a mountain goat, forget about it.
Write off any spills here as an "act of God." May the odds be ever in your favour.
Church Street takes the cake, eats it, smashes the plate, and leaves you face down in the icing. This is where man fell on the ice on RTE fifteen years ago today. Happy Anniversay babe. This street is a masterclass in chaos theory: uneven paving, nothing but shade, frost regenerating faster than your complaints on X-Twitter, and an incline that's out for blood.
This street loves to see you coming like sharks love to see Paul Mescal in a skirt. This is a gladiator arena for balance. Do not take unnecessary journeys here, do not pass go and do not collect €200 in compo.
So, there ya have it, the 5 Slippiest Streets in Dublin. Strap on your boots, clutch your dignity, and remember: if you're going to fall, pray there isn't a news camera behind you.
