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19th August 2018
05:06pm BST
People are always nattering on about you what you shouldn't eat when you're drunk and/or hungover, like "avoid large, greasy meals!" G'luck.
Let's cut the bullshit. Nobody in their right mind is munching kale and drinking coconut water when they're rolling down Camden Street at 4am after a rough, tequila drowned night.
Absolute notions.
Here is what you ACTUALLY eat when you're baloobas.
How many miles to Babylon? From Coppers? Not a single one you lazy bastard. It's a three-minute walk, get away from that rickshaw.
You stumble outta the club, bleary-eyed with only liquids sloshing around in your belly. One thing is for sure: you need food before the fear kicks in, to soften that inevitable blow.
There is only one thing you're taking home tonight, and that is your leftover Babylon.
If you don't make a 300-second long drunken dancing Snapchat video, did you even have Babylon at all?
The dreaded D word.
This Irish take on this Turkish 'delicacy' consists of unidentifiable rotisserie meat, a shitload of greasy chips, sauces and some lettuce. Delightful.
Clog your arteries, g'wan.
"One spice box, two spring rolls and three cans of Coke please. Oh, with curry sauce. And don't forget the prawn crackers. Love you."
You may not find love in the club. But you'll always find it in the Chinese <3
Fuck it all in a sambo and call it a masterpiece.
Here's an interesting one you've got to try, if you can even make it to the kitchen after all dem jagerbombs:
And sure if all else fails just throw on a frozen pizza and let it cook while you pass out on your kitchen table (editor's note: please don't actually do that).
We've all been there.
If, like myself, you're a culchie faking it in The Pale and Babylon just won't do it for ya, take your mouldy self straight to Supermacs on O'Connell Street.
Get your chicken and taco cheese chips fix the right way, the Smacs way.
Sausage and egg McMuffin with a side of hashbrowns, an Americano and a large DIET Coke.
After all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. After a few shcoops, that is.
Roll fillet chicken. No. Fillet roll chicken. Nope.
JUST GIVE ME A CHICKEN FILLET ROLL.
Yes you're pissed and you're hungry. We get it.
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